Introducing Eve Stanway… Eve is an accredited divorce and break-up coach, and a psychotherapist. Learn more about Eve here.

She is also the co-author of the anthology Voices of Women by Brenda Dempsey. Eve’s book will be published by Book Brilliance Publishing in Spring 2025.

In this month’s Brilliant Byte, Eve discusses how we must navigate difficult conversations as authors.

Navigating Difficult Conversations as Authors

As authors, we often face difficult conversations – whether with ourselves when battling imposter syndrome or with others when our writing touches sensitive truths. Consider this scenario: You’ve written a piece that delves into a personal family experience. You know it’s a story worth telling, but you worry about a family member’s reaction. Should you share it and risk their disapproval, or hold back and miss the chance to tell your truth?

Here are three tips to help you navigate such challenging dialogues:

1. Acknowledge Differences in Perception: Recognise that different perspectives are natural. Often, there’s a gap between how we wish to see things and how we actually perceive them. Accepting that others may see things differently allows us to approach conversations with an open mind. As George Bernard Shaw wisely said, “The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” Understanding this can help bridge gaps and encourage understanding rather than conflict.

2. Understand the Challenge for Everyone: Remember, difficult conversations are challenging for all involved. The other person might also feel apprehensive or defensive. Being aware of this can help you approach the dialogue with empathy. Acknowledging that these discussions are universally hard sets a tone of mutual respect, easing the tension and opening the way for constructive dialogue.

3. Focus on Positive Outcomes: It’s easy to catastrophise, imagining the worst-case scenarios. Instead, consider the positive outcomes that could result from an open conversation. Shifting your mindset toward what you hope to achieve can set a constructive tone and guide the discussion toward a more favourable resolution.

Returning to our scenario, you decide to talk with your family member, expressing why the story matters to you while acknowledging their viewpoint. By focusing on a positive outcome, you aim for understanding, not just agreement. This approach can strengthen your voice as an author and lead to a deeper, more honest relationship.

By managing emotions and focusing on possibilities, you create a space for dialogue that nurtures growth and understanding.